The necrophiliac caught en flagrante Confessed to the old commandante "'Ere I came to the crypt, I immediately stripped. It's the best way to brush up on Dante!" An east coast grad student lay waste To sororities once thought to be chaste At Smith he did tarry, Debauched William and Mary Then drove back to Bryn Mawr post-haste. That mechanical bull rider, Eunice, Would in Third Reich regalia impugn us. And while astride the pommel, She’d dream she was Rommel, As her forces advanced upon Tunis. Of an evening they could put away A quart of the best Tanqueray. But because they’d prepare a Drink dry as Sahara, The vermouth lasted well into May. On the Seine ‘twas a sight so jejune: A- Naïs trading tales with friend Djuna And manning the tiller? That perv Henry Miller Recalling a tryst in Altoona. A Joyce scholar known only as Harrison Retired early with riches embarrassin’ A cryptographer’s mate Showed how “Finnegan’s Wake” Made “The Da Vinci Code” pale by comparison. The harlot with clientele nautical On her bed carved motifs quite erotical. And described on pink curtains, Were creative insertions With just the schedule of fees horizontical.

From the hinterlands come many tales Of good citizens gone off the rails. What’s the use being frugal? There’s no cable, no Google And some years the coca crop fails. Lonely thief has this blinding epiphany While browsing the shelves down at Tiffany's: "For want of a pistol I could have all this crystal, The cash drawer, the safe and Felicity." A lass toured Alsace one December How she got the pox no one remembers T'was months til the cure Came by train from Pasteur By mid-March she'd infected all members. La Rive Gauche never lacked for tobasco When Nijinsky was pining for Moscow. And Cocteau behaved In a manner depraved Instigating that spat with Picasso. In a customs shed hard by Lucerne A French tourist was growing concerned For her panties and bra Were packed full of foie gras Which her boyfriend could not find in Berne. A lad with a knack for verisimilitude Couldn't quite seem to reign in his attitude When not rumpling bed sheets He'd doctor the spreadsheets Accounting for Ken Lay, and similar dudes. The judge found "creation" inimical With state-funded teaching, so clinical For how long will they whine 'Bout Intelligent Design? That thumping sound's got to be Biblical.

All content © 2005-2006 Michael Dion, Portland, Oregon, USA Last update, Jan. 4, 2006. Back to the drawings.